Dozy Writes

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I have recently arrived at a crossroads in terms of career and financial stability. 

I am currently involved in lots of work that I enjoy doing but my need for even a smidgen of economic security is becoming more pressing.

I have therefore found myself looking for a job again and feeling uncertain about which direction to take. 

I love writing and I want to continue doing it, so I am looking for a job that still gives me the time and headspace to write whilst also giving me an income that will allow me to live my modest lifestyle. 

Easy. Right?

Childhood dreams

These feelings of uncertainty have brought to mind the pressures of being a teenager and trying to decide on a career path. 

I considered many career options over the years. As a child, I wanted to be a hairdresser. My Barbie dolls and Girls World head all sported haircuts that ranged from artfully choppy to disconnected disasters.

When the mobile hairdresser visited the house to do my mam’s hair, I would sit my doll in a chair beside her as if we were working in a salon together. I would chat to the hairdresser as I vigorously waved the hairdryer around my doll’s head, not considering that the doll’s nylon hair might melt from the heat.

Around the age of nine or ten, I decided that I wanted to become a teacher. I practised my teaching skills by lining up my cuddly toys and teaching them a variety of subjects. 

It turns out that I was quite a strict teacher, and Cheeky the Bird – a stuffed toy that chirped – was constantly in trouble. Suffice to say, Cheeky was subject to my wrath many times.

The desire to become a teacher lasted a few years, evolving into a more serious endeavour when the time came to choose my school subjects for Standard Grades. 

I chose subjects that would support my plan to teach at primary school level and whenever I talked about career plans I would cite teaching as my desired path. There was a reassurance in the certainty of my plans.

That changed when I visited London for the first time aged around fifteen. 

I’m putting on my top hat

My first trip to London involved a stay at a hotel in Mayfair where the doorman was dressed in a top hat and tails. It was an enchanting experience and I fell in love with the bustle and glamour of the city.

A trip to the London Palladium – in a taxi hailed by said doorman – brought about the realisation that I wanted to be on stage in musicals. I’d always loved singing and dancing so I decided that this was my future.

I was quite sensible in my approach. I had no desire to be the star of the show or even to be famous. I’d already engaged in enough dodgy teenage behaviour that I worried about what the tabloids would say.

No, I was content to stay in the background as long as I could perform and be a part of something magical.

I investigated singing lessons before discounting the idea as they were out of my budget – or more accurately, paying for them would have limited the amount of money I’d have to spend on alcohol which was a vital part of my existence at that point in my life.

Not one to be discouraged, I decided to buy myself a karaoke machine.

Thus followed a period of intense annoyance for my family as I enthusiastically attempted show tunes of which my favourite was ‘Send in the Clowns’, one of the most downhearted and depressing songs imaginable.

Our household was quite a challenging environment at that time as my brother had taken up the bagpipes a year or two before. He would march up and down the corridor playing a pibroch or some other sad lament whilst I was belting out ‘Woman in Love’ in a dramatic fashion. 

I’m pretty sure it was around this time that my parents started going out for a drive in the car without us.

Which was a shame because they might have missed my cheerful rendition of ‘La Bamba’, delivered with an air of smug satisfaction as I managed to successfully pronounce the Spanish lyrics. 

It’s worth mentioning here that the availability of karaoke cassette tapes was quite limited at that time so I had to go with whatever songs I could find.

Sadly, the dream of being on stage faded when I realised that I couldn’t sing particularly well and I wasn’t the best of dancers.

Oh well, back to the drawing board.

Read all about it

Just as I was wondering what might come next I realised that I had known the answer all along. I had always loved writing so it was obvious that I should work towards becoming a journalist. 

I was very serious about this prospect. I had a plan: a degree in journalism at Edinburgh Napier, followed by a year or two working at a local rag before my move to London, where I would cover all of the hard-hitting stories. 

I had visions of myself chain smoking as I battered out copy for a breaking news story.

In this scenario, I would go out afterwards to meet up with the millions of friends I had accrued in my short time in London where I would complain about the pressures of work whilst secretly being chuffed that I was living my perfect life.

I was all set to follow this career path when a series of events meant that my life changed drastically. My dreams of becoming a journalist died as I focused instead on just surviving.

But that’s a story for another time.

A different path

Unsure of what direction to take, I found myself enrolling at the local college to study business. 

During the interview I was asked what had been my favourite school subjects and I listed English, History and Music.

The lecturer looked puzzled and said, ‘but they’re not the type of subjects we’ll be covering on this course’.

‘I know’, I agreed pragmatically, ‘but this course will give me a good grounding for lots of different jobs’. 

It appeared that, at the age of 16, I had decided to drop my creative side to focus on the practicalities in life.

Despite my sadness at letting go of my journalism dream, I still felt enthusiastic about my future.

It was just a different future from the one I had envisaged.

By the age of 21, I was married with a mortgage, desperate for security after a tumultuous few years.

By the time I was 31, I had begun a career in Human Resources, a subject I had steadfastly avoided at college because I found the prospect of it incredibly dull. It turns out it wasn’t dull at all.

Sometimes life can surprise you with the direction it takes. We never know what we’re going to end up doing or indeed how much we might enjoy ourselves.

So when teenagers worry that they don’t know what career path they want to follow, I joke that I’m 48 and I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. 

Actually, that’s not entirely true. I am already doing some things that I love, they’re just not making me enough money yet.

Recent job searches

So I have found myself looking for something I can do on a more regular basis to give me a bit more stability. 

Searching through online job boards is a dull and cumbersome process, especially as I find myself easily distracted.

I saw an advert for a forklift driver the other day and even though I’ve never been on a forklift in my life, I’m tempted to see if I can get training because driving a forklift looks like a lot of fun.

Did you know that there are actually championships for forklift driving? It’s almost worth doing that job just so I can take part.

Then there was a job as Head of Hockey for a university. I still looked at the advert despite the fact that I can’t really play hockey, something that became apparent at school when I was frequently one of the last picked for the team.

And of course, there are lots of jobs where I don’t even know what they are. The words ‘wealth’ or ‘custodian’ spring up and I realise they’re probably not the right fit for me either in terms of my skillset or my beliefs.

Possible new jobs

Obviously, I love doing this writing malarkey so that is something I will continue with, but I have been considering some other jobs that might suit me.

1. Professional hugger 

(You know, one of those people who just hugs other folk and it magically heals them?)

Pros: I love hugging people so I get to do something I enjoy, plus I think my curves really add to the comfort of a hug. Also, I don’t need any more training for it – not to brag, but I am already an exceptional hugger.

Cons: some people might be a bit too clingy or have less than desirable personal hygiene.

2. Cult leader’s assistant. 

Everyone wants to be the cult leader but I’d prefer to be the assistant, the Sheela to someone else’s Osho – watch the ‘Wild, Wild Country’ documentary if you don’t know what I’m talking about. Ideally, I’d be less… intense (that was a polite euphemism).

Pros: I’d be right in the thick of the action and in a position of influence without any of the hassle of being the leader.

Cons: Jail is a distinct possibility because cults always go wrong eventually.

3. Heirhunter

(This title makes it sound far more interesting than ancestry research geek)

Pros: I could satisfy my curious (nosy) personality with research into other people’s lives whilst also getting the thrill of being a detective.

Cons: It involves a lot of mind numbing research that I would likely fall asleep whilst doing.

On reflection, perhaps these jobs aren’t realistic for me – I’m not sure that the first two are realistic for anyone – but whatever I do in the future, I’ll enjoy connecting with people and learning something new.

Dreams do come true

I don’t feel sad when I look back at my career dreams because something very interesting has happened over the last ten years. Let’s look again at my ideas for career options.

Hairdresser

Ten years ago I started a barbering course as a hobby and qualified two years later. Whilst I may not have worked as a hairdresser, I have cut many people’s hair over the last few years.

Teacher

I qualified as an EFL teacher last year and, despite a delay in implementing this owing to a serious case of Bell’s Palsy, I feel excited when I realise that I have the potential to help others learn.

Living in London

A few years back, I decided to move to London for a year so I could experience life in the capital city. I hugged myself with glee every time I got the train into the city and saw Tower Bridge appear.

Journalist/writer

Three years ago I took some time out to start working on a novel and, before I knew it, I had four other writing projects on the go. In addition, I started sharing my writing over a year ago on this very blog. I may not be writing hard hitting news stories but I’ve realised that I’m not particularly interested in them. As long as at least one person is reading what I’m writing then I’m happy.

Musical cast member

(I’m not sure that going to Sing-Along-A-Grease counts for this one.)

Alas, it seems that my singing ability has only deteriorated in the last few years but I did take part in some free singing lessons a few years ago that were part of a research initiative for people with breathing difficulties.

They had a magical impact on everyone who took part and it was fun to be a part of something that was innovative and groundbreaking.

All of this has reminded me that sometimes we do get what we want. It just might appear in a different format and timescale to what we expected.

With that in mind, I think I might start focusing on my next career path which somehow involves me becoming a millionaire.

Wish me luck in manifesting that money!